bare collection.

A classic returns.

Want to be a 'sex object'?  Of course you do.  Make it easy on everyone and check your body hair.  Enter, the ballsBALM™ Bare Collection™.  Formulated to safely remove hair anywhere south of the neck, The Bare Pair™ is the perfect way to keep all of your parts presentable.  With Bare Balm™ to decimate hair and Calm Balm™ to fortify the skin, you can drop the hair--anywhere--with pride, not pain.  Smooth operator?  Then stock up and save with the Double Team™ or Threesome™ Pro Pacs™ and get 'naked' everywhere, player.  We support you.  

ballsBALM™ beats the competition...hard.


Dual-stage body hair management system to destroy body hair while fortifying the skin.


Natural ingredients and a top-notch formula prevent irritation on even the bitchiest skin.


Super sensitive, non-comedogenic bigBALLS Formulahas NO harsh dyes or fillers.


May be used on sensitive spots and all ‘fun’ zones!


Made by and for men (not a converted lady's item).


NEVER tested on animals...that would be creepy.

Choose your weapon.

ballsBALM™ Bare Pair™

Looking to tame your hairy spots?  Well then butter up with a bit of Bare Balm™ and switch from ‘sasquatch’ to ‘smooth’ in mere minutes.  Calibrated for even the bitchiest skin, our body hair management cream is a must for any guy who always needs to be primed to shine.  Made for use on all your parts south of the neck, you can bare your balls, give your dagger more swagger, or bare it all with our sensitive bigBALLS™ Formula. Follow up with Calm Balm™ to protect and fortify your skin and you’re ready to roll.    $16.99

ballsBALM™ Double Team™

 What happens when a few thousand clients ‘strongly’ suggest that we give them more Bare Balm™ with each purchase?  The Bare Pair™ ‘Double Team’ Pac™ happens, that’s what.  We’re not sure if people are bathing in Bare Balm™ or what but we got the message.  Now you can get the hair off with a double-dose of Bare Balm™ (16 fl. oz. total) and a single-shot of Calm Balm™ (4 fl. oz.) . Get the Bare Pair™ ‘Double Team’ Pac™ if you’ve got thick hair or a lot  of it.    $27.99

ballsBALM™ Threesome™

Your salary may suck but your personal hygiene shouldn’t.  That’s why we’ve bundled some Bare Balms™ together—so you can save a little coin and look good doing it.  Whether you like to keep it smooth all over or want to simply stock up and save, we’ve just made your hair removal addiction more affordable.  The Bare Pair™ ‘Threesome’ Pac™ comes with three Bare Balms™  at a special price so you can  afford to take your dates to eat at a place without a drive-thru.   $38.99

What's in this @#$%!?

ballsBALM™ Bare Balm™

 BARE BALM™ Body Hair Buster™ is balls-down the most effective men’s hair removal lotion, ever.  Safe enough to use on your nuts, yet strong enough to clear the thickest hair with ease,  BARE BALM™ is the bomb because we made it that way.  Awesome ingredients and a top notch formula make ballsBALM™ BARE BALM™ the obvious choice to bare the hair.


INGREDIENTS: Water (Aqua), Cetearyl Alcohol (plant derived), Calcium Thioglycolate, Calcium Hydroxide, Acrylates/Steareth-20 Methacrylate Copolymer, Vanilla Planifolia (Vanilla Bean) Fruit Extract, Prolatum Oil (Paraffinum Liquidum), Ceteareth-20 (plant derived), Polysorbate-60 (Plant Derived), Sodium Hydroxide (pH modifier), Thymus Serpillum (Wild Thyme) Extract, Phenoxyethanol (preservative), Panax Ginseng Root Extract, Steareth-20 (plant derived), Silica, Tetrasodium EDTA, Glycerin (plant derived) 

ballsBALM™ Calm Balm™

Tired of torturing your skin to get rid of the hair down there?  So were we.  All hair removal methods stress the skin in some way which is why proper support is essential to protect the dermis.  Enter ballsBALM’s fragrance-free, non-comedogenic CALM BALM™ Soothing Skin Salve™.  Packed with all the stuff your skin needs and none of what it doesn’t, our CALM BALM™ means that you can finally bare the hair with pride, not pain.  Sweet.


INGREDIENTS: Water (Aqua), Aloe Barbadensis (Aloe Vera) Leaf Juice, Caprylic/Capric Triglyceride (Plant Derived), Glycerin (Plant Derived), Dimethicone (Mineral Based), C12-15 Alkyl Benzoate, Tocopheryl Acetate (Vitamin E Acetate), Phenoxyethanol (Preservative), Panax Ginseng Root Extract, Ethylhexylglycerin (Plant Derived Preservative), Triethanolamine, Carbomer, Sorbitan Oleate (Plant Derived) 

We're easy.

Step 1: Grab wood.

For best results, apply BARE BALM™ in a smooth, even layer with your Slic-Stics. For sensitive spots, leave on for about 12 minutes. For less sensitive spots leave on for fifteen. Always bare your balls using the Nutshell Method™ (when nutsack is tight and balls are against your dong). If your balls are hangin' low it's a 'no go.' 

Step 2: Butter up.

Use BARE BALM™ only on healthy, undamaged skin. Always test a small spot where you want to use Bare Balm and wait 24 hours.  If your skin is acting normal, 'go nuts' with a nice, thick layer of BARE BALM™ over the areas you want to clear of hair. 

Step 3: Grope yourself.

Before washing off your BARE BALM™, test with your BARE PAW™ to see if hair will wipe away easily. After testing, hop into a lukewarm shower with your BARE PAW™. Using your BARE PAW™, gently buff the area to remove the BARE BALM™ and wipe away the hair. Massage gently until all of the hair is removed in the area but do not use soap or body wash to do so. Remember not to rub too hard, rinse well, and pat dry. 

Step 4: End happy.

After showering, pat dry completely. Immediately apply a healthy amount of CALM BALM™ to the area.  Apply the CALM BALM™ where you used BARE BALM™ and you will keep your skin smooth, supple and ready to shine. The area you bare should stay that way from one to three weeks depending on your body hair type.  You may use the BARE PAIR™ as often as once-a-week; simply use your  CALM BALM™ after your BARE BALM™ when you do.   

Coming January 2018

Wax on. Hair off.

A wise man once told us that a guy is only as successful as his options. At ballsBALM™ we strive to give our clients access to the best and most complete set of tools to manage their body hair to stay at the top of their game.  To do that the ballsBALM™ Bare Collection™ is expanding to include The ballsBALM™ ballsWAX™ Kit.  Calibrated to our exacting specifications, our ballsWAX™ Kit is an essential addition for any man that takes body hair management seriously.