Body Collection.

Keep your biggest organ primed to play.

Pack your pistol, Tex; your skin is actually your biggest organ, trust us. Treat it well and people will notice. And isn't that the point?  It's always okay for your body to make a good impression, and the ballsBALM™ Body Collection™ is just the recipe. 


Spend just a a little bit of time and effort to prime your shine and you can expect to get touched--everywhere.  At ballsBALM™, we've developed a line of body care products that we feel are conspicuously absent from the modern man's personal repertoire.  Not anymore.  The junkWORKS™ is proud to present your new best friends in the battle for your perfect body.

Coming January 2018

Bros stick together. Your 'boys' shouldn't.

We gave the junkWORKS™ an impossible task: neutralize balls’ tendency to painfully stick to the thigh. For eons, every man—from the mightiest king to the lowliest bus boy—has been slave to ‘Sticky Balls Syndrome’ (SBS).  No more.  After months of testing, calibrating and clinical trials, we got word from truckers, athletes, cops, soldiers, and even a troupe of clowns that ballsAWAY™ is the Holy Grail of crotch comfort.  Get some and feel what it’s like to really free ball, good sir.   

Grope up and get down.

Feeling dirty or just looking to help rinse off your Bare Balm™? Then soap up the smart way with gropeSOAP™ (7 fl. oz.) and treat your skin right.  Formulated to hydrate the skin to the hilt during body hair management, gropeSOAP™ is the perfect before and after body wash to support the skin and leave it ready for anything. Recommended for aggressive ballsBALM™ users it comes in an insanely soothing foam format to make groping up a guilty pleasure. 

Legendary lotion.

We've received a lot of requests from clients asking to score extra Calm Balm™.  So here you have it, a double-dose (8 fl. oz. total) of our special skin serum that clients report is great for use on everything from cracked feet to flaky scalp.  Originally designed as an after lotion for the ballsBALM™ Bare Pair™, everyone always goes 'MacGuyver' on us and uses it for everything else too.  We're not sure what you'll use it for, but we're sure you'll agree that Calm Balm™ makes any skin situation much less irritating.