Score ballsBALM™ here.

Can't find ballsBALM™ anywhere? You're not alone. We apologize that we've been gone. We're working to ramp up production of your favorite ballsBALM™ products and new additions as quickly as possible.   The ballsBALM™ Bare Collection™is currently available on You may purchase by clicking below by the product descriptions.  

Fly sh!t. 

The Goods.

The Bare Pair™

Looking to tame your hairy spots?  Well then butter up with a bit of Bare Balm™ and switch from ‘sasquatch’ to ‘smooth’ in mere minutes.  Calibrated for even the bitchiest skin, our body hair management cream is a must for any guy who always needs to be primed to shine.  Made for use on all your parts south of the neck, you can bare your balls, give your dagger more swagger, or bare it all with our sensitive bigBALLS™ Formula. Follow up with Calm Balm™ to protect and fortify your skin and you’re ready to roll.  ORDER HERE

Bare Pair Double Team™

What happens when a few thousand clients ‘strongly’ suggest that we give them more Bare Balm™ with each purchase?  The Bare Pair™ ‘Double Team’ Pac™ happens, that’s what.  We’re not sure if people are bathing in Bare Balm™ or what but we got the message.  Now you can get the hair off with a double-dose of Bare Balm™ (16 fl. oz. total) and our dope Calm Balm™ (4 fl. oz.) . Get the Bare Pair™ ‘Double Team’ Pac™ if you’ve got thick hair or a lot  of it.  ORDER HERE

Bare Pair Threesome™

Your salary may suck but your hygiene shouldn’t.  That’s why we’ve bundled some Bare Balms™ together—so you can save a little coin and look good doing it.  Whether you like to keep it smooth all over or want to simply stock up and save, we’ve just made your hair removal addiction more affordable.  The Bare Pair™ Threesome™ comes with three Bare Balms™  at a special price so you can  afford to take your dates to eat at a place without a drive-thru.  ORDER HERE 

Bare Balm™ Body Hair Buster™

ballsBALm Bare Balm


Bare Balm™ Body Hair Buster™ is balls-down the most effective men’s hair removal cream, ever. Safe enough to use on your nuts, yet strong enough to clear the thickest hair with ease, Bare Balm™ is the bomb because we made it that way. Awesome ingredients and a top notch formula make ballsBALM™ Bare Balm™ the obvious choice to bare the hair. ORDER HERE


INGREDIENTS: Water (Aqua), Cetearyl Alcohol (plant derived), Calcium Thioglycolate, Calcium Hydroxide, Acrylates/Steareth-20 Methacrylate Copolymer, Vanilla Planifolia (Vanilla Bean) Fruit Extract, Prolatum Oil (Paraffinum Liquidum), Ceteareth-20 (plant derived), Polysorbate-60 (Plant Derived), Sodium Hydroxide (pH modifier), Thymus Serpillum (Wild Thyme) Extract, Phenoxyethanol (preservative), Panax Ginseng Root Extract, Steareth-20 (plant derived), Silica, Tetrasodium EDTA, Glycerin (plant derived)

Calm Balm™ Soothing Skin Salve™

ballsBALM Calm Balm


Tired of torturing your skin to get rid of the hair down there? So were we. All hair removal methods stress the skin in some way which is why proper support is essential to protect the dermis. Enter ballsBALM’s fragrance-free, non-comedogenic Calm Balm™ Soothing Skin Salve™. Packed with all the stuff your skin needs and none of what it doesn’t, our Calm Balm™ means that you can finally bare the hair with pride, not pain. You’re welcome. ORDER HERE

INGREDIENTS: Water (Aqua), Aloe Barbadensis (Aloe Vera) Leaf Juice, Caprylic/Capric Triglyceride (Plant Derived), Glycerin (Plant Derived), Dimethicone (Mineral Based), C12-15 Alkyl Benzoate, Tocopheryl Acetate (Vitamin E Acetate), Phenoxyethanol (Preservative), Panax Ginseng Root Extract, Ethylhexylglycerin (Plant Derived Preservative), Triethanolamine, Carbomer, Sorbitan Oleate (Plant Derived)

The Smooth Set™


We've received a lot of requests from clients asking to score extra Calm Balm™ and quite frankly, our interns are tired of turning everyone down. So here you have it, a double-dose (8 fl. oz. total) of our special skin serum that clients report is great for use on everything from cracked feet to flaky scalp and everything in-between. Originally designed as an after lotion for the ballsBALM™ Bare Pair™, everyone always goes 'MacGuyver' on us and uses it for everything else too. We're not sure what you'll use it for, but we're sure you'll agree that Calm Balm™ makes any skin situation much less irritating. ORDER HERE

shipping is always discreet so your business stays yours.

We always aim to please.

RETURN POLICY: If for ANY reason you are not completely satisfied with ANY purchase from ballsBALM™ whatsoever, then simply return the unused portion of the product(s) to the place of purchase within thirty (30) days from the date on your receipt for a full refund.  No questions asked.   

Coming soon from the junkworks™

Bros stick together, your 'boys' shouldn't.


We gave the junkWORKS™ an impossible task: neutralize balls’ tendency to painfully stick to the thigh. For eons, every man—from the mightiest king to the lowliest bus boy—has been slave to ‘Sticky Balls Syndrome’ (SBS).  No more.  After months of testing, calibrating and clinical trials, we got word from truckers, athletes, cops, soldiers, and even a troupe of clowns that ballsAWAY™ is the Holy Grail of crotch comfort.  Get some and feel what it’s like to really free ball, good sir.  

Make love, not a mess.

Like any high-intensity, friction-full activity, sex requires well-placed ‘moisture’. But traditional lubricants are messy and cumbersome to use.  Enter laySPRAY™ a fully-functional, spray-on ‘friction-fighter’ that lets you slick up any part you’ve got, without the waste and chaos you get palming the ‘jellys and jams’ available now.  So if you want a ‘smoother’ marathon session without the mess, or just a quickie without getting sticky, add laySPRAY™ to your kit and stop apologizing for the lube puddles you’re leaving everywhere.  

Smell fair everywhere.

Need to 'clear the air down there'? Skip the cologne and harsh deodorants that scorch the skin and leave it susceptible to rashes and irritation.  Use ballsBALM™  dicSTIC™ instead.  A simple, safe, and effective way to fight the BO down low, it's an all-the-time solution for your active lifestyle.  A lite, classic scent with none of the harsh perfumes clouding up your real essence.  Goes on clear and won't let you down, even after 12-hours grinding on the beach, dicSTIC™ is the perfect tool to keep yourself crisp and ready for snacking. 

Wax on. Hair off.

A wise man once told us that a guy is only as successful as his options. At ballsBALM™ we strive to give our clients access to the best and most complete set of tools to manage their body hair to stay at the top of their game.  To do that the ballsBALM™ Bare Collection™ is expanding to include The ballsBALM™ ballsWAX™ Kit.  Calibrated to our exacting specifications, our ballsWAX™ Kit is an essential addition for any man that takes body hair management seriously.

Spiffy in a jiffy.

Got a majorly messy situation on your hands...or any other part of you?  Towel off with ballsBALM™ tipTOPS™ and get clean as a whistle instantly with our super-sensitive cleansing towels.  Designed for the discriminating gentleman, our flushable tipTOPS™ come in low-profile, easy-to carry packaging so you can take them anywhere you need to clean up, discreetly. tipTOPS™ come extra large, so you can always be sure you get the job done when you need to prime your shine and conditions are less than ideal.